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Love is not an emotion!
How can love be an emotion? Emotions are fleeting; they come and go, depending on circumstances, incidents and moods. Love is so much more than that. It is a way of being. It is a life energy that flows constantly. Love is not influenced by external circumstances and is defined by the depth and expanse of your own being.
Love can be a discipline, a duty, a drive, a mission, an act of will, a prayer or worship… In the wrong hands, love can also be a tool of blackmail. But above all, love is that extra muscle or limb which God has given us to help manage when all else fails. Love helps us rise above ourselves. The objects of our love may change; love remains constant.
When you truly love someone, it is an acceptance of him or her into your very being. And that can work the other way round as well – when you truly accept someone, you learn to love him or her. Feelings such as lust, passion, affection, helplessness, desire or yearning may ebb and flow – love flows unhindered.
Empathy pioneer Karla McLaren says in The Language of Emotions, “When an emotion is healthy, it arises only when it’s needed … it recedes willingly once it has addressed an issue. When love is healthy, it does none of these things…Love is not an emotion; it doesn’t behave the way emotions do. Real love is in a category of its own.”
Sometimes we imagine ourselves in love, projecting our emotions onto someone we are not really deeply connected with. In such a game, desire, lust, moods, passion and even affection can all play a role, but the real thing is missing. And when reality raises its head, we realize that love was never a part of this game playing.
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